"My life is a mess", She cried. "Nothing can ever be fine in my life, Everyone hates me and wants me to die, everybody does their best to irritate me. I seek hysterical happiness,but always get mysterious sorrow."
It was 2:00 Am and at that hour of the night all her demons of the past crept out of the bed to address her. She texted me, 'I think this is the last night we'll talk. I think it'll be better if I die. I'm not gonna call it suicide or running away, let's call it self emolition, maybe this will change something, maybe this will change him.'
It was so humanly for me to get scared at midnight when my Bestfriend was talking this way. We were on call for the next few hours. She cried and screamed, I was there to listen. She cribbed about how unfair life is. And while this all was going on, she fell asleep talking.
Atleast she was alive, I thought.
I tried to rephrase her life. What made her this way? What made her cry for so many hours straight? What made her hate her own life?
8 Months back, I was In Hyderabad and I still remember getting her call; she was so excited. "You won't believe what happened today. I saw the the most handsome guy ever. His facecut, his beard - everything is so perfect. I think he's the one. I think I am going to marry him someday. "
Well, atleast she was happy back then.
As soon as I was back, she showed me that guy, and how her happiness now revolved around him. And I must admit, he was one good looking chap. She told me how they talked, for so many hrs. Nobody knew, how it would go, but anyhow everyone tried to help her with him.
But atleast she was happy.
Nothing in life ever goes according to a plan.
They talked to each other as if nothing else mattered. They soon fell in love or perhaps she was the only loyal one.
We called him by names, stalked both of them, they were so cute together. But this was the plan, no?
She seemed to be so happy, atleast at that time.
And then, he turned out to be as evil as Satan.
He wasn't in love with her, she was a bet he had to win and for some unknown reason he could never fall in love with her. He won his bet, and that was it.
We all hated him, but she never did.
She hated herself instead.
She was all miserable.
She used to say she's strong. She used to say that she has wolf blood in her and that she was dangerous. But at nights like those, she'd collapse. She'd let all the volcanoes erupting in her heart come out as tears and misery. She never had a mask on herself, she was a naked person, a very genuine one indeed. And it did hurt to see someone like her hurt.
But this is life, no?
Everyone at some point of their life goes through a heartbreak and feel miserable. Some are strong enough to handle it while others get their whole life shaken.
But as she had fallen asleep, she seemed happy again. Maybe she was strong enough to not let this bother her anymore. She told me she'll leave everything behind and start new.
Atleast she was happy again, I thought.
The rays of sun seemed to give a hope, but little did I know that this light could actually burn too.
I slept like a baby for the next few hours until my phone rang again. My life had never been the same after that one call.
She had an overdose of sleeping pills and she died.
Yes, she died without thinking of us. She died leaving me to regret about how I could not understand her and save her. She just died.
She left everything behind, her life to start a new life. Who knew she'd stick so close to her words.
She was my Bestfriend, and everything she did still give me goosebumps.
The day died, but not the sorrow. The numbness in the soreness itched a lot.
But atleast she left everything behind, she tried to be happy.
But she wasn't alive. And as she said, maybe something would change, it did. For a day, every news channel displayed her story instead of politics.
She died, away from misery but her Ghost still scares me.
It was 2:00 Am and at that hour of the night all her demons of the past crept out of the bed to address her. She texted me, 'I think this is the last night we'll talk. I think it'll be better if I die. I'm not gonna call it suicide or running away, let's call it self emolition, maybe this will change something, maybe this will change him.'
It was so humanly for me to get scared at midnight when my Bestfriend was talking this way. We were on call for the next few hours. She cried and screamed, I was there to listen. She cribbed about how unfair life is. And while this all was going on, she fell asleep talking.
Atleast she was alive, I thought.
I tried to rephrase her life. What made her this way? What made her cry for so many hours straight? What made her hate her own life?
8 Months back, I was In Hyderabad and I still remember getting her call; she was so excited. "You won't believe what happened today. I saw the the most handsome guy ever. His facecut, his beard - everything is so perfect. I think he's the one. I think I am going to marry him someday. "
Well, atleast she was happy back then.
As soon as I was back, she showed me that guy, and how her happiness now revolved around him. And I must admit, he was one good looking chap. She told me how they talked, for so many hrs. Nobody knew, how it would go, but anyhow everyone tried to help her with him.
But atleast she was happy.
Nothing in life ever goes according to a plan.
They talked to each other as if nothing else mattered. They soon fell in love or perhaps she was the only loyal one.
We called him by names, stalked both of them, they were so cute together. But this was the plan, no?
She seemed to be so happy, atleast at that time.
And then, he turned out to be as evil as Satan.
He wasn't in love with her, she was a bet he had to win and for some unknown reason he could never fall in love with her. He won his bet, and that was it.
We all hated him, but she never did.
She hated herself instead.
She was all miserable.
She used to say she's strong. She used to say that she has wolf blood in her and that she was dangerous. But at nights like those, she'd collapse. She'd let all the volcanoes erupting in her heart come out as tears and misery. She never had a mask on herself, she was a naked person, a very genuine one indeed. And it did hurt to see someone like her hurt.
But this is life, no?
Everyone at some point of their life goes through a heartbreak and feel miserable. Some are strong enough to handle it while others get their whole life shaken.
But as she had fallen asleep, she seemed happy again. Maybe she was strong enough to not let this bother her anymore. She told me she'll leave everything behind and start new.
Atleast she was happy again, I thought.
The rays of sun seemed to give a hope, but little did I know that this light could actually burn too.
I slept like a baby for the next few hours until my phone rang again. My life had never been the same after that one call.
She had an overdose of sleeping pills and she died.
Yes, she died without thinking of us. She died leaving me to regret about how I could not understand her and save her. She just died.
She left everything behind, her life to start a new life. Who knew she'd stick so close to her words.
She was my Bestfriend, and everything she did still give me goosebumps.
The day died, but not the sorrow. The numbness in the soreness itched a lot.
But atleast she left everything behind, she tried to be happy.
But she wasn't alive. And as she said, maybe something would change, it did. For a day, every news channel displayed her story instead of politics.
She died, away from misery but her Ghost still scares me.
