Wednesday, 25 May 2016

The voice only he could hear.

"I'm dying; with each passing moment, I'm getting closer to my last authentic breath. Why am I saying this ; why am I telling you? Because you all are the reason for my death! And just before my 'worthless life' ends, I want you to realize that someone else might be dying too, I want you to save that someone. "  He heard her whisper to the night sky into the darkness. He couldn't believe his eyes. Who was she talking to? He stood in the corner of the lake with moonlight on his face, trying not to interrupt her with his presence. He hears her cry, and realize she wasn't crying infront of anyone in particular. She didn't even know someone was there listening to her. He hears her continue, " I had so many reasons to die yet I had none. Suicide is an act of cowardice they say, but really, is it? If someone is so messed up, and his life is miserable that with each passing moment the feeling of getting the whole sky errupted right upon you Grows and a constant fear of getting chocked under the pressure of galaxies seem to like you? Well maybe you do not understand this, and maybe you have suffered more and that is the reason I want you to live, live through all of it and get helped, saved to be precise.
From the happiest to the saddest, I have seen myself and the people around me change.  Grow miserably with all the rumors. To all those who do not know me yet but know about me, your 'knowingness' has killed me. Did you ever bother to know if the things you heard about me were true or not? Well, who told you I am a whore? Who started this? Perhaps not you, but you blindfoldedly believed it, right?  Who told you I am chasing popularity at the cost of my body? Did I ever try to use my body as a weapon in front of you? But you believed it, why?  Because they told you?" He heard her cry so loud, weep like a baby. He wanted to go there and tell her, he never believed them, but he didn't have the courage to. Not yet. So he stood there waiting for her to get normal, to start speaking again. And she did, in a very sore voice, she took a deep breath and started, "You're belief shattered my hope. I lost everyone and eventually I lost myself. I saw everyone leave.  I was dead even before I died. But it's too late to save me. No I am not dying because of some stupid rumor that turned me into a loner bullied by everyone or because you formed an opinion about me of being a 'slut'. I am just tired of standing up for myself alone all the time. The guilt of giving in to my reputation haunts me. Maybe someone could've saved me bht in the end we're our own saviours, and I wasn't strong enough to save myself.
But I hope you are strong enough to save yourself and others as well. I wish."  The sound grew faint, and eventually the voice stopped entering his ear. He saw her, right there evaporating. For a moment he couldn't believe his own eyes. But then it had been 3 weeks, 5 days, 21 hours and fee seconds since she died. He could've saved her, he thought. Maybe he wouldn't have been 'too late'. But since her death, each night in his dreams she takes him to the same old lake and make him hear the cry of his first love and make him hear the sound, the voice only he could hear!

Friday, 6 May 2016

The Unspoken Agreement.

3 in the morning, Empty roads, Dark houses and Intoxicated thoughts.
Would I ever be enough? Enough of anything; something? A mere thought which turns into a debate with each passing second.
Will I be enough of what they expect? I've never been enough before, but it has never mattered before.
3:30 and I am walking on the streets alone. A little stray wiggles his tail and reaches my knee. Is he wondering too like I am. Is he is afraid of not being enough as well. Perhaps not, because he keeps wiggling his tail and moved happily, left me on the road alone, unlike the strangled thoughts burning inside my head refusing to leave me alone.
4 o'clock and I met another messed up soul. I could tell by the way he walked on the roads, he feared the unknown, the unknown fear of the expectations under which he finds himself burried.
In the monotony, without knowing each other, we knew each other so well. We had two hours before this all would end, before our families wake up to see their kids like never before.
We silently walked onto the never ending dark horizons and rarely did we break the silence, for the silence was our solitude.
5 A.M. And we had barely spoken anything.  According to what we were taught, I shouldn't be walking with a stranger, even if we had some memories of waving each other each night and walking in the dark silence. But I was. I was even after knowing everything yet nothing at all.
One more hour and the insane ride would end, I thought. He finally broke the silence, "why are you here?"
"Maybe because of the same reason you are" I replied. 5:58, "Are you ready?" "I won't ever be", I said, "but maybe I don't need to be." we stared each other. We both wanted to be saved. Neither of us could save either of us. We needed to be saved ourselves but then our fate was already destined, I suppose.
5:59- We close our eyes.
6:00- The assassination ground allowed the gun man to enter and open fire.
Maybe our corpses were meant to hold hands, We shouted to death.

Flashbacks

Raw Draft Is it weird to not be visible, When you stare at yourself in the mirror? Er, Edit, Is it okay to not see your reflection, W...