You and me.

Dust and mud never bothered me at two,
I wonder what had happened ever since.
Tears and pain wasn't embarrassing till 12,
I wonder what the teen years held.
Studies and passion weren't torturous till 15,
Life took a hideous turn ever since.
A little about me, a little about you,
Different are our miseries yet so same.
So many dreams killed by the society,
So many wishes forgotten in fear.
Somedays I think of breaking the barriers,
So do you, barricades for me and you.
What stops us, I fail to understand,
The society that molests us, rapes our dreams,
Or the insecurities in our head that we reap.
We've seen them all, the fearless men,
We've heard and read about their glory
But our brains tell us it's not our story.
Birth and death, it's all fated,
Life we have, so underrated.
In dust and mud, we vanish one day,
You and I, no one stays.
Our dreams; our passion- why don't we chase?
Life afterall is one big maze.
A little about you, a little about me,
Hoping for a story of glory through pain! 

Tis my fault.

You have read about it for a thousand times.

Heard the shout over a million times.

Mourned over it whenever the news was out.

But never fought against it when it happened infront of you?

Bystanders, double standards, you told me it was my fault, always, no matter what the circumstance was.

You told me it was me not him, modern or customary.

I believed you for a long time.

I was molested but it was my fault, afterall clothes or no clothes, does it matter to a beast? 

I was molested amongst you all, my nation mates, my national family, but it was my fault that I considered a woman a part of the national family.

I was raped by my uncle, oh but it is my fault, I was up till late to complete the assignment.

I was raped by my husband but again I am at fault, because after marriage husbands can force me to do anything after all. 

I was touched, squeezed, pinched, and have been done everything that brought tremor down my spine but I take all the blame, all of it. 

Afterall, who can blame the zombie eating brains, beasts grooping waists, the demons raping and the society where we live. 

But we can shoot down the beasts, the demons, clean the society but clearly I've made peace with the blame game; since you ain't changing I can.

You can't kill the zombies, so I'll kill my consent.

You blamed me and I take it all, but you do too, when 'me' becomes 'she' of your family, friends, or maybe, never mind it'll haunt you like me, so let's just leave.

Christmas morning.

'Do you feel it? It's Christmas already.'
I ran into the living room to see some artificial snow, a fat box wrapped in red wrapping paper and a beautiful cake surrounded by candles. It was beautiful and had the Christmas feel.
I shouted Shahaaz, but nobody replied. I called him again and again but I got no reply.
I unwrapped the gift as I thought he'd be out to get food maybe. So I unwrapped the big fat box with my name on it and found a letter on the top of it. Inside the box were my pictures with Shahaaz and everything related to us that he ever had- as a sovereign of our bond.
So I pulled out the letter which was written on a Christmas special sheet with santa prints.
"Dear best friend,
Merry Christmas. So you're surprised to see the gift, aren't you; And the letter? Well, you'll know eventually.
So it's been a while since I stayed over. It's been a while since we relived all our childhood memories."
I stopped reading and ran to his room. His bag wasn't there but his closet had some clothes.
I took a breath of relief. I returned to the living room and continued reading.
" It was a wonderful time. But this journey has only made me realise that I never fell out of love with you. The numerous nights I spent here giggling with you in this room, all I knew was I loved you more than I could ever love anyone else. So yesterday I gathered enough courage to tell you all of this. But as I came near your room, I peeked in through the opening of the door to make sure you weren't sleeping and to my surprise you weren't only awake but with someone else."
I thought really hard but I never invited anyone to my place lately.
" You were occupied with Roan and his memories. I guess just like me, you were still in love. I saw you shed tears on his picture. And I knew this wasn't the correct time or maybe it never would be. I thought really hard that night. It hurt me physically thinking of you loving someone else but love wasn't supposed to give us pain, it was supposed to heal us from our existing miseries. So what that you don't love me. Somebody along the way will. And somebody will always make me fall for her too. And it won't be that bad. Maybe I'll always love you and maybe that is the best thing ever. But I won't let your love ruin me; And mine to ruin you. So I gathered these memories to take along with me but 'Yado ka bojh bahut bhari hota hai.' I couldn't. So I left this for you. And I left some of my memories and some of Roans in my room. I hope you don't stick to them. I hope you gather enough courage to burn it all. Because yesterday, I not only realised you loved him, I also realised I remind you of your past. A past that made you bitter. A past where you loved Roan more than me. And you living in the past haunts me. Burn his memories, start afresh. Because you're too young to believe life without him is impossible. You don't need a guy to define you or defend you. You're better than most people here. Believe in yourself. Gift yourself freedom. And get some Christmas spirit. Don't shed tears over me. Don't cry, 'Why do bad things happen to good people.' You're not Ross afterall. Cheer up. There's wine, cake and pizza on table, get drunk on wine and don't whine.
I love you, atleast till yet,
Yours
Gurshahaaz!"
Everybody left me on the verge of happiness but I won't give up on my happiness now, I thought. So I wiped my tears and ate the cake, gained some calories after all it's Christmas and I still have life within my soul. After all, Shahaaz and Roan would want me to be this way; confident and happy.