"Just know I love you always; no matter what."
And for the hundredth time, I read his diary.
Even after all this time, it ached to see his room empty, to pass through his room and not smell his scent. It hurts to see his black blanket, covered and packed into boxes. So I took out his favourite blanket and wrapped myself in it. I flipped the pages of his album, and a tear rolled down my cheek as I saw my numerous pictures, but a very few with him. I am always going to regret not having enough pictures with him.
I realized I missed him, more than anything. I missed wrapping my arms around his waist and placing my head on his chest as he recited me the most wonderful stories I've ever read.
I tried to not to cry or miss him, I tried not getting my eyes smudged but it seemed like it wasn't humanly possible.
I took out his old tattered dairy and a kaleidoscope of memories ran down my brain.
I remember him writing his diary each day, and I wondering why? Maybe that was his salvation. But how could I understand that time? I tried to steal and read the dairy many a times. And he telling me, I promise to gift it to you on my death.
Few months back, the doctor declared him a psychopath. But he was creative. He used to tell me, Don let anyone ever dull your sparkle. Don't let anyone tell you what to do and what not. Don't let anyone decide for you and today, I'm chosing a stream for myself and everyone is interrupting, and you are not here.
I am a very insecure person, I let my friend friends and grades decide for me and at times I feel like collapsing, like the dolphins and whales are erupting in my tummy. But this isn't about me.
So ignoring all the negative vibes, I courageously opened the diary, His Diary.
I particularly likes infact loved one part of the dairy which totally belonged to me, and I am glad that I'm revealing it to you, today.
"And I have the prettiest Granddaughter." the first line said. Even grandpa's lie, I thought. But lying to their kids, for making them feel the best is their job description.
"I see the fact that, she fancies this little diary, so whenever you get hold of this dairy, I want you to know few things.
You, my child are a beautiful human with a beautiful soul anf kind, nobody can buy that. There will be time you'll feel lost,, as if a part of you is taken away from you and you are one a quest to find it, a quest full of sorrow and misery.
Your parents won't understand you, maybe they expect more, but it's alright. I know my girl is bold enough to do anything she wants. Your friends are leaving, but again, they're just a chapter of your life, not the whole book. Well, I know the grey eyed boy you're crushing on. I don't know, how is it going on with him but remember, you should not let any guy play with you or leave you in sorrow. You were raised to hustle like a man, you can bw strong. You're changing - a little fatter than before, your grades are going down, you dont fit into the beautiful dresses you fancy, or get a tall, dark and handsome boy. It's absolutely fine. But I do hope you get over it and realize life is much more than this.
I think you hate me for leaving, amidst all the troubles but even if I am not here, physically present to recite you, your favorite bed time stories, I'm always up there watching you as a star. ( well, I always called him a star. My superhero, my star.)
I'm always there for you, and my little kid is always under my protection.
P.s.- I know you miss me and I do, too. Even if you feel alone and mistreated or low. Just know I love you always, no matter what. "
I miss you, grandpa, I miss you alot. And at this point of my life, I honestly wish you'd come back.
And for the hundredth time, I read his diary.
Even after all this time, it ached to see his room empty, to pass through his room and not smell his scent. It hurts to see his black blanket, covered and packed into boxes. So I took out his favourite blanket and wrapped myself in it. I flipped the pages of his album, and a tear rolled down my cheek as I saw my numerous pictures, but a very few with him. I am always going to regret not having enough pictures with him.
I realized I missed him, more than anything. I missed wrapping my arms around his waist and placing my head on his chest as he recited me the most wonderful stories I've ever read.
I tried to not to cry or miss him, I tried not getting my eyes smudged but it seemed like it wasn't humanly possible.
I took out his old tattered dairy and a kaleidoscope of memories ran down my brain.
I remember him writing his diary each day, and I wondering why? Maybe that was his salvation. But how could I understand that time? I tried to steal and read the dairy many a times. And he telling me, I promise to gift it to you on my death.
Few months back, the doctor declared him a psychopath. But he was creative. He used to tell me, Don let anyone ever dull your sparkle. Don't let anyone tell you what to do and what not. Don't let anyone decide for you and today, I'm chosing a stream for myself and everyone is interrupting, and you are not here.
I am a very insecure person, I let my friend friends and grades decide for me and at times I feel like collapsing, like the dolphins and whales are erupting in my tummy. But this isn't about me.
So ignoring all the negative vibes, I courageously opened the diary, His Diary.
I particularly likes infact loved one part of the dairy which totally belonged to me, and I am glad that I'm revealing it to you, today.
"And I have the prettiest Granddaughter." the first line said. Even grandpa's lie, I thought. But lying to their kids, for making them feel the best is their job description.
"I see the fact that, she fancies this little diary, so whenever you get hold of this dairy, I want you to know few things.
You, my child are a beautiful human with a beautiful soul anf kind, nobody can buy that. There will be time you'll feel lost,, as if a part of you is taken away from you and you are one a quest to find it, a quest full of sorrow and misery.
Your parents won't understand you, maybe they expect more, but it's alright. I know my girl is bold enough to do anything she wants. Your friends are leaving, but again, they're just a chapter of your life, not the whole book. Well, I know the grey eyed boy you're crushing on. I don't know, how is it going on with him but remember, you should not let any guy play with you or leave you in sorrow. You were raised to hustle like a man, you can bw strong. You're changing - a little fatter than before, your grades are going down, you dont fit into the beautiful dresses you fancy, or get a tall, dark and handsome boy. It's absolutely fine. But I do hope you get over it and realize life is much more than this.
I think you hate me for leaving, amidst all the troubles but even if I am not here, physically present to recite you, your favorite bed time stories, I'm always up there watching you as a star. ( well, I always called him a star. My superhero, my star.)
I'm always there for you, and my little kid is always under my protection.
P.s.- I know you miss me and I do, too. Even if you feel alone and mistreated or low. Just know I love you always, no matter what. "
I miss you, grandpa, I miss you alot. And at this point of my life, I honestly wish you'd come back.
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