Why is it that we always chase the wrong person?
Love scares me. After all that had happened, yes it scares me alot. When I first saw you I was scared of the fact that you'll leave one day, and it'll be all over. But, then that is the beauty of life, everything has an end.
I know we never got any step ahead of 'Just friends. ' and we probably never can. Maybe you never felt the same way about me, and maybe you never will.
At times I feel that I should accept the fact that I am ugly and I can never get the person I love. Tho it hurts.
Not the kind of ache you know is physical but the kind that wants you to rip your heart and throw it out of your body.
Wouldn't it be easier if we stopped felling? If we never had an organ that could feel; feel love, compassion, jealousy, passion or anything at all.
I wish I could confess how I felt without having the fear of being judged or Hurt. I wish I could tell you, how much I love you. I wish I could say, "Hey, I want to be with you, for a very long time; maybe forever. But I'm scared but I want to be with you, no matter what. " I wish I could be honest without being painful. I wish I could make things easier, for us.
My Bestfriend told me that 'he's going to be an extremely nice guy to you, fun-loving caring and what not. He'll make you happy, talk to you all day long, he'll deceive you into a never ending despair. And one fine day he'll leave, not even bother to look back, look back and see how broke you are because of him.' And after all this time, I Still wonder how phenomenally true it was.
The truth is nobody stays forever. And believe it or not, you never forged it to me, you never said you'd stay. We weren't officially together then why should I mourn over your disappearance from my life. But then, who am I fooling? I'm a human, even if I'm not supposed to feel this way, I am. Partially because I feel love and partially because I'm scared of it.
I still don't get it, why I carved you so constantly that it felt as if you dwelled in me. I wanted you so bad, you were a part of me that was taken away from me. You were never mine, but I wish you were. As a human, I've wished way too much and pushed myself into things I shouldn't, it feels as if it's a never ending process.
I am so sorry, I probably don't even know what am I writing. I doubt my senses because they were lost the day you made yourself nonexistent for me.
I'm trying so hard each day and you probably don't even know. I try harder than you could ever imagine. I'm trying to forget you and be a better human each day.
I'm trying to tell myself that it wasn't your fault that I'm broken today or that you left a monster in me who denies to believe in love. Yes, I know I probably won't ever have my very own 'FOREVER '.
This pain is for eternity. I'm bound to it.
And as I see my life in few years, your absence will make me miss you, each time someone says your name. I know I am going to regret not letting you know, how much I loved you.
Can't I just scream and cry and tell you what have you done to me?
I love you, I really do. But I'm terrified, terrified of that fact that one day you'll chose someone over me, and I'd be left there in pieces.
I'm scared, I wish I wasn't.
I wish, I could just face it, but I cannot.
I wish I could stop loving you and forget you, but I think that is next to impossible.
Love scares me. After all that had happened, yes it scares me alot. When I first saw you I was scared of the fact that you'll leave one day, and it'll be all over. But, then that is the beauty of life, everything has an end.
I know we never got any step ahead of 'Just friends. ' and we probably never can. Maybe you never felt the same way about me, and maybe you never will.
At times I feel that I should accept the fact that I am ugly and I can never get the person I love. Tho it hurts.
Not the kind of ache you know is physical but the kind that wants you to rip your heart and throw it out of your body.
Wouldn't it be easier if we stopped felling? If we never had an organ that could feel; feel love, compassion, jealousy, passion or anything at all.
I wish I could confess how I felt without having the fear of being judged or Hurt. I wish I could tell you, how much I love you. I wish I could say, "Hey, I want to be with you, for a very long time; maybe forever. But I'm scared but I want to be with you, no matter what. " I wish I could be honest without being painful. I wish I could make things easier, for us.
My Bestfriend told me that 'he's going to be an extremely nice guy to you, fun-loving caring and what not. He'll make you happy, talk to you all day long, he'll deceive you into a never ending despair. And one fine day he'll leave, not even bother to look back, look back and see how broke you are because of him.' And after all this time, I Still wonder how phenomenally true it was.
The truth is nobody stays forever. And believe it or not, you never forged it to me, you never said you'd stay. We weren't officially together then why should I mourn over your disappearance from my life. But then, who am I fooling? I'm a human, even if I'm not supposed to feel this way, I am. Partially because I feel love and partially because I'm scared of it.
I still don't get it, why I carved you so constantly that it felt as if you dwelled in me. I wanted you so bad, you were a part of me that was taken away from me. You were never mine, but I wish you were. As a human, I've wished way too much and pushed myself into things I shouldn't, it feels as if it's a never ending process.
I am so sorry, I probably don't even know what am I writing. I doubt my senses because they were lost the day you made yourself nonexistent for me.
I'm trying so hard each day and you probably don't even know. I try harder than you could ever imagine. I'm trying to forget you and be a better human each day.
I'm trying to tell myself that it wasn't your fault that I'm broken today or that you left a monster in me who denies to believe in love. Yes, I know I probably won't ever have my very own 'FOREVER '.
This pain is for eternity. I'm bound to it.
And as I see my life in few years, your absence will make me miss you, each time someone says your name. I know I am going to regret not letting you know, how much I loved you.
Can't I just scream and cry and tell you what have you done to me?
I love you, I really do. But I'm terrified, terrified of that fact that one day you'll chose someone over me, and I'd be left there in pieces.
I'm scared, I wish I wasn't.
I wish, I could just face it, but I cannot.
I wish I could stop loving you and forget you, but I think that is next to impossible.
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